Thanks to buggy_542 as the beta. So everything that's still wrong is her fault =D J/K! *luffs teh bugs* Without further ado...
Title: Holding Pattern
Rating: PG, fer makin' out.
Spoiler: If you haven’t seen Encounter At Farpoint from ST:TNG's season 1 then you may be spoiled at the end of this here fic.
Summary: Waiting sucks.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. But Sparky can claim me as a fangirl anytime. *flail*
“No, wait,” he implored.
He pulled her back into his arms to kiss her again. She had other ideas and clasped a hand over his mouth before it could reach hers.
“Look, as much as I love being with you, this is getting ridiculous.” She dropped her hand from his lips because he began kissing her palm. “We are on an expedition of this section of the city, with a team I might remind you, and I can’t be ducking out of it every five minutes because we have this insatiable need to...” he severed her protest by kissing her. He made his insistence evident in the way he did so this time.
Attempting not to produce sounds that would betray their location she began to give in to him, returning kiss for kiss, touch for touch. Finally, some part of her logic kicked in as she pushed away from him placing her hands on his chest.
“... do that.” Elizabeth finished her sentence breathily as he made his way down her neck. How could he do this to her? She had no logical explanation for the influence he had on her actions. She was Doctor Elizabeth Weir. She had faced down megalomaniacal
world leaders. All it took for her was one flyboy and she was putty in his hands. Where was her determination, her nerves of steel?
John could be very persistent and persuasive when he set his mind on something. Much like the way he was doing now, slowly gliding his hands under her shirt to find her skin. She didn’t believe he would even try to take it this far while they were with an exploration team. But then again he was a man who knew what he wanted. Thankfully a noise stilled him and she clutched desperately to his collar holding her breath.
“No way!” yelled Rodney.
“Has never occurred to you someone might be as genius as you?” Radek queried.
“Rodney, he discovered equation for nuclear warfare. How can you not call the man genius?”
“He couldn’t even balance his checkbook! In order to be a genius you cannot lack in any part of intelligence on even the most basic of levels. It’s like trying to invent a language without syntax.”
“There’s different type of communication without syntax. Body language, sign language. Even music is considered language in some cultures.”
For crying out loud, thought John. How he managed to keep his sanity when on assignment with these two boggled the mind. He supposed Elizabeth’s reaction to him strangling the two most needed guys on this journey was a restraint.
“What’s that?” Rodney excitedly barked.
Quietly they clenched onto one another in the horror that they might be discovered.
“Where?” Zelenka looked around a corner.
“There,” Rodney pointed spying something down the opposite corridor.
Eagerly the scientists made their way to a new discovery.
Relieved their location had not been detected she began to squirm out of his embrace and he released his hold on her. Almost getting caught raised issues weighing on his mind. The moment took hold quickly of his want to be near her. He was tired of hiding.
“Wait,” he begged again.
John couldn’t help but think that she was maybe ashamed of what they were doing. After all they were breaking the rules, or so he suspected. He was a little fuzzy when it came to that fraternisation rule. One, she wasn’t his subordinate. Two, she was a civilian. He saw no problem with their being together. Sure, emotional commitment could compromise their mission, but it hadn’t so far. He had lost count of the number of times he faced certain death, mostly by her order. Then again, maybe she was ashamed of him.
Elizabeth began to move farther away and he reached for her hand.
“Wait, please,” he hoped she wouldn’t misread his plea.
“No,” she responded playfully. “Come on, we have to check in with Rodney. He may not have the best social skills but he would recognise our elongated absence from his little tour. Hey,” she smiled at him taking note of his mood change. “What’s wrong?”
“When are we gonna tell them?”
His question caught her off guard.
“Tell who what?”
“Them,” he gestured in the direction Rodney and Radek headed off to. “About us. Me and you.”
“Oh,” where was this coming from, she thought. As far as she was concerned there was nothing to tell. Her personal life wasn’t part of anyone’s business. “I don’t know. I wasn’t really planning on telling anyone anything.”
“Why?” He really needed to know if it was him or if it was the theoretical inappropriateness of their relationship.
“Because it’s none of their business.” She could see his dissatisfaction in that answer. “John? What’s this all about?”
“I’m just... I’m tired of sneaking around, hiding like some coward. If I’m with you then I’m with you all the way and everybody knows about it. At least they would if... I don’t know... I just...”
Well, he was frustrated. She could see that. Was she the cause of it? Being outted would have dire consequences, especially in the hands of someone like Kavanaugh or Caldwell. Though she supposed Steven wasn’t as vindictive as Kavanaugh.
She and John had never discussed if it was proper for them to be together, they just were. There was reticence at first, sure, but she got over it, quickly realsing she couldn’t do without him in her life that way. He’d never brought it up so she figured the point would be moot if she voiced her concern. Obviously she was wrong.
“If you don’t want to be with me then just say so!”
That was unexpected.
“Hold on. Stop, what are we talking about here? Me and you? I don’t...”
He cut her off. “How come nobody knows about us? It’s all right for everyone to know about Carson and Cadman. Ronon and Teyla. Kavanaugh and Simpson. Everyone else who’s together but us.”
“Uh,” great, now she had to analyse their year and a half relationship in two minutes. How did they go from making out to therapy in a matter of seconds? “Their relationships don’t interfere with command decisions.”
“Ours doesn’t either. You send me on missions all the time. Life threatening missions.”
“It’s different for us. There are rules and regulations against what we’re doing. And if anyone found out I would be removed from command, you would be court-martialed and Atlantis would probably be militarised and handed over to Caldwell. I’m your superior. Everyone else doesn’t have that hanging over their heads. Ronon and Teyla are still considered civilian personnel; technically the military doesn’t have any jurisdiction over them. Carson is a civilian and Laura isn’t in a command position. I am. John, if we were found out, they’d take me away from everything that I’ve come to know and love. I can’t risk that. I won’t.”
“So it’s me then? I’m the reason no one knows. If I was someone else there would be no problem.”
“No! How can you think that? We both have no control over this. That’s just the way it is. I wish it were different... I wish, I could tell them. I want them to know I belong to you." She released a shaky breath. "However," she continued. "The SGC won’t see it that way. I hate to admit it, but, we’re here by their leave. Our hands are tied.”
He knew she was right and he hated himself for pushing the issue with her. He needed to know. Some things just needed to be said. He wasn’t supposed to be with her, except living without her wasn’t an option either. They were caught in the middle; he’d have to deal with that. So, he could keep it under wraps, right? For her, he would have to. He had self-control, despite the fact that being with her should be broadcasted throughout the galaxies.
“I’m sorry, I...” he pulled her close placing a kiss to her forehead. John couldn’t find the words.
“When did this get complicated?”
“I don’t think it was ever simple ‘Lizabeth.”
“So,” she laid her head on his shoulder. “What do we do?”
“We wait, I guess. We’ll find a way. We always do.”
He pulled back and gave her that flyboy grin. She couldn’t help but laugh.
“I know. But that’s why you love me.”
A quick shuffling of feet made them draw back.
“There you guys are!” Rodney’s tone impatient and as excited as ever. “We’ve been looking for you. Radek and I found something you might find interesting. We think it’s a secondary command center. Sort of like how the Enterprise has a battle bridge. If anything that means Atlantis can come apart! You know without us actually having to blow it up to bits. This place is amazing! You coming?” And he ran back the way he came.
Elizabeth and John couldn’t help but be intrigued by this new discovery. Feeding off of some of Rodney’s excitement she turned to John, hand extended, “Shall we?”
He took her hand in his. “Oh yes, let’s.”
There was so much more to do, so much more to discover here. He couldn’t think of another place he’d rather be laying in wait for the day when people would know, that as much as Elizabeth belonged to him, he belonged to her.