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03 February 2011 @ 05:31 pm
you can't kill the heart of my love  
1) class was looooooooooooong. oi. i'm tired but i can't sleeeeeep! wth?

2) so i watched oprah. she had Pam Grier. this woman is fabulous. unbelievably fabulous. and she said something about being a woman and being labeled as 'pretty'. she shied away from it because it is mostly a label she disassociates herself from because she was raised to view life and beauty in it's simple, natural substance. something comes from the inner and shines out which is what makes beauty. not the false projections of beauty sold by hollywood.

she also spoke of her time with Richard Pryor and his lifestyle with her inside of it. he was afraid of not being funny when he wasn't high or drunk so he kept on. after her visit to a gynecologist it became evident that her life was being put in danger by her association with him. when cocaine builds up in the prostate gland it is ejaculated through the penis during intercourse and that will endanger the woman's life. she told him he needed to wear protection which, did not go over well, as you can imagine. her response? "'Well, it's my life. You have to understand.' So I chose me."


3) this leads me to Ron's 'you choose him' line in DH. (yeah, weird transition but Potter consumes me. deal with it.) Hermione wasn't choosing Harry over Ron. she was choosing herself. her blood is the one being questioned. her legitimacy as a witch is being challenged. her body is the landscape upon which this war is waged. her war is Harry's war. she knows her worth. she knows her cost. she knows her right. she knows what this war is really about in the bigger and grander scheme of past, present and future and damn if this girl doesn't give her all to make it better for herself and those that came before and those that will follow. and FUCK IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME LOVE THIS GIRL EVEN MORE. when she decided to stay with Harry, she wasn't choosing him, she was choosing. herself.

i don't think Ron knew this. i don't think he was allowed to know this. (THANKS JOANNE!) my question becomes, does Harry know this? is he allowed to know this? help me out here people. i never read DH to its completion nor with much of a view to retain any plot or character. i'll probably never read that book even after the movies are over so... hit me with canon folks. *gasp* I KNOW! i'd like to offer with conjecture that Harry does become aware of this hence, his sacrifice, but that could be me projecting my fangirl shipper preference. and if it turns out that he is aware of this, then holy fucking monkey balls in hell, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JOANNE?! WHAT?! WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU TOY WITH US LIKE THAT? YOU WILL OWN ALL MY CREYS BUT I WILL BE THE ONE PAYING FOR IT.

Current Music: vampire ~ pink mountaintops
Gwenhwyfar: Sera Myu- Sailor Neptunegwenhwyfar1984 on February 4th, 2011 04:27 am (UTC)
I think I need to stage a Potter intervention for you...lol...

And my clock for LJ says that it is only 5 something your time. So maybe you can't sleep because it is still too early?
Sunny: HP Trelawnysunny_serenity on February 4th, 2011 04:54 am (UTC)
lol... i think you may be right. *meep*

ah, yeah. I was hoping for a nap... guess I'll just have to stay up til 10 o'clockish but omgimsotired.
(Deleted comment)
Sunny: HP o childrensunny_serenity on February 5th, 2011 05:53 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the canon side commentary. I would have never known otherwise. They all have reason to fight. They all have something at stake in this war and because the boy was raised in a cupboard he doesn't quite grasp the concept that it's not just him that's affected by this war. He may be peripherally aware of others but he'd probably feel the consequences more acutely. His narrow understanding of things seriously needed to be balanced out by Ron & Hermione. That's the thing I love about these fucking kids, is that they're so intertwined that there is no way one cannot affect the other two so their dynamic will always constantly be shifting and evolving. I loved that scene where Ron is the one to talk some sense into Harry's running off to be a martyr. Epic bromance is epic. That Ron, is the Ron I love and wished they put on screen cos then, I could totally understand how/why things developed between him and Hermione.

Shipping aside, Ron seriously got the short end of the stick when it came to the trio's development. In the beginning he's a strategist the boy plays chess. WIZARD. CHESS. Just. Damn. The boy could've been a general but JKR shelved his emotional arc so much that he became my least fave out of the three and IdontlikethatverymuchJOANNE. So in the movie when he said, 'You have no family!' I was all F.U. RON YOU ARE HIS FAMILY!!! HDU?!?!?! Oh, they fill me with feelings I cannot articulate. Epic bromance is epically bromantic.

Personally, from a canon perspective, I don't believe Harry saw Hermione as "choosing herself" OR "choosing him."

But it still makes me ask the question and consider her motivations for sticking it out through the end. I didn't even know she erased herself from the world until I started reading fic and I was so. fucking. lost. like, WHY CAN'T HERMIONE GO HOME? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Until I caught a DH primer some place online. I mean this girl has so many secrets and inner dialogue and thought process, hell, another life that we are not privy to. I always want to know more and I never got it from canon just because of the nature of Joanne's narrative so it's easy for me to project my shippy POV onto her to explain these things to myself.

It was two friends who STILL didn't know how to win this and were terrified, but at least they had each other. They didn't need to search for that, and that was a small victory that mattered a great deal.

Gah, if that doesn't make me love/ship them more because this, right there? Is pretty much the basis for ALL my OTPs (MSR, SPARKY, Nathan/Kelly... really, I could go on). Jamie, you're supposed to help me be objective here, not inadvertently solidify my already staunch POV/shipperiness... oh god IDEK if any of that made any sense. I need to lie down.

Edited at 2011-02-05 05:55 am (UTC)
A Figure Of Speech: [harry potter]afigureofspeech on February 4th, 2011 08:29 pm (UTC)
I love that you make me love things I already love even more. As in, I love Hermione to itty bitty pieces and then you make me love her even more. ♥ THIS GIRL OWNS MY SOUL.

Unfortunately I cannot make any kind of speculation because while I did read the entire series it has been a while and I don't remember a lot of it. Perhaps there be fic dealing with this though? Hmmm...
Sunny: HP lostsunny_serenity on February 5th, 2011 05:58 am (UTC)
THE GRANGER OWNS MAH SOUL. ...much the same way The Watson Owns Mah Soul but that's another thing completely. Hermione is so full of mystery and secrecy I never even noticed it my first go round in this verse. Now I'm older and with a more critical eye in this go round I appreciate the reasons I first fell in love with these kids. Damn.

Perfect time for a re-read dontcha think? *DROPS THAT REALLY BIG HINT*
A Figure Of Speech: [harry potter]afigureofspeech on February 5th, 2011 06:14 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I love finding interpretations of my favorite characters that I never really thought about but only makes them more awesome.

IT MIGHT BE, IT MIGHT BE. Except I'm at school and don't have it and even if I did it would be a HUGE time commitment that idk if I could make...

Sunny: HP Emma squaredsunny_serenity on February 7th, 2011 08:13 am (UTC)
I like to learn that there is more to a character I love. Like looking at a diamond as the light shines through it and illuminating hidden facets. OMG. SO MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN I EVER THOUGHT.

Pesky school and all your time consumption. It'd be nice to take a class that was all about analysing Potter. I'm sure that exists somewhere.

A Figure Of Speech: [harry potter]afigureofspeech on February 9th, 2011 07:40 pm (UTC)
I actually have a professor who I'm pretty sure would teach that class in a heartbeat. She's always bringing up HP and The Lord of the Rings lol. In fact, she's writing a book about (I believe) the portrayal of female characters in modern fantasy - and two of the big ones are Hermione and McGonagle. Needless to say, she's one of my favorites. x)