His day of birth carries a gravitas that most do not. A day which should have been filled with happiness and warm fuzzy feelings is shadowed with loss. Can you imagine all the memorial ceremonies young Jim was made to attend to celebrate his father's heroism? Hey kid, Happy Birthday. Here, have this wreath of olive branches and bleeding honour medals to remind you that you're here and your father is not. His father died for HIM. The ultimate sacrifice. Take me, not my son. That alone would have given anyone a complex. So, as an adult, saving people probably makes him feel close to his dad and that he's doing something that would make his father look upon him with pride were he alive. The converse of that would be that niggling feeling that Jim wasn't worth sticking around for so why should he carry himself with any kind of respect or dignity.
This event also probably made his mother emotionally and physically distant. Can you say spitting image? Ouch. His mother's subsequent boyfriends and then step-father (...fathers? cos I don't imagine her settling down with just ONE man after someone like George Kirk. Who could possibly measure up?) were verbally and possibly physically abusive. Therefore as a result he whores, boozes and bruises. We've seen this kind of loose behaviour present in the 'messed-up-anything-to-make-the-pain-and-e
Now comes the anger and resentment. Or what was over looked in the movie that I thought should have been registered as anger and resentment. Spocktimus Prime CAUSED Kirk 2.0's emoness. After the mind meld with Spocktimus Prime you'd think that one as crazily hellbent on insanity as Kirk 2.0 that he'd go off on the Elder!Spock yet he doesn't. Experiencing and being in the emotional space from that mind meld likely kept the impact of Spocktimus Prime's actions at bay. However, if you happened upon the person that caused your life to spiral out of control before you had the chance of having any control how would you react? I know I would've been fucking insanely raging with vengeance and retribution once the reality set in. But this is Trek and it was all waved away with bromance and peace. I'd like to see how Kirk would handle the difference between Spocktimus Prime and Spock 2.0. Where would he draw the line? Would he know, in that far-off place in his mind, that Spock 2.0 was NOT the cause of his pain or would there be a niggling feeling of blame? This is something I'd like addressed and explored in the next movie.
Then comes the difference between Kirk and Nero and why Kirk > Nero. Nero took revenge on ANY Spock from ANY time. He didn't care. He was hurting and so must everyone else. It was his form of justice. Kirk, on the other hand, accepted that Spocktimus Prime (can you tell I NEED to see Transformers?) was inadvertently yet ultimately responsible for throwing his life into chaos and understood his regret and shame. (Although here, the point could be argued that George Kirk, chose to stay back and die. But dude, he's a Big Damn Hero and therefore AWESOME.) Spocktimus Prime has his own weight to carry. Spock 2.0 is riddle with same if not more angst and woe. And yet, YET Jim is the kind of person that is able to not just sympathise but EMPATHISE with what the other has done and how it makes them feel. He's felt, if not the exact same thing, then something pretty damn close to it. The difference being he leaves it all bottled somewhere in the depths of himself and it unleashes itself in the form of his whoring, boozing and bruising. So now, where does that leave Kirk emotionally? He's shown the ability to distract himself from his pain but he never really deals with it. Nor does he ever use it as a crutch for his behaviour towards himself or others. That fact also increases his awesome by ten trillion points. Add some Spocky friendship and we get character insight. Add some Uhura and I'm THERE. I want this fallout.
In short, I want Dark!Kirk 2.0! Would it be hoping too much for something like Mirror, Mirror in the next movie? Somebody write him for me, please?