The first part of Bella & Edward? LOL! So. Much. Cheese. It was like really really really bad fanfic threw up all over the book and then dipped some chips in it and ate itself. *fawning* OHMYGAWDSOBEAUTIFUL!!! *fingertip faint* [/sarcasm]
First of all how DO vampires get all hot and erect when their DEAD and the blood they have flowing thru their veins is all borrowed? Death cannot make life no matter how Frankenstein people wanna get. Their hearts don't even pump and uh, the last time I had Sex Ed class I'm pretty sure a boner was explained as: "A boner is NOT a bone. A boner or erection is caused by a severe concentration of blood circulated and PUMPED into the penis as a result of stimulation." Stone has veins???? 0_o Mrs. Hadley LIED TO US?!?!?!? OMG!WTF!BBQ! I need another Sex Ed class. ...okay, so the sarcasm didn't end in the previous paragraph. Sue me.
However the sarcasm of the pack is what got me thru reading the damn book. *snuggles them* I'm glad there was Jacob's POV somewhere in there. His reality is so refreshing. *sigh* Oh Jake how I heart thee. I especially enjoyed the interplay betwixt he and Alice. My other ship. So much fun... and such a relief... there is a fic out there where he imprinted on her instead of Bella... Must. Find.
Now, my version of what I thought I was getting into... I would've made Jake imprint on Bella AFTER she's been vamped. It would've all been the master plan for the bringing of enemies together. Fated. Take that Juliet and her fair Romeo.
Question. The Volturi are in Rome, yes? Answer. Yes. And Rome was a city and culture based on myth and legend. The birth of Rome was brought forth from the brothers Romulus and Remus sons of the god Mars and the forced-to-be-a-priestess Rhea. Rhea was then sentenced to death by her uncle Amulius for violating her vestal virginity. Ass! There's a lot to be said about the decidedly male chauvinist slant history has but that's a side point I don't really have the brains to argue at the moment. Anyway, back to my point. Remus and Romulus where then protected along the river Tiber and brought to Lupa the she-wolf who in turn nurtured and suckled the twins. DUDES! Do you SEE where I'm GOING with this?!?!?!? Jacob imprinting on Bella would've been the divine will of the creators to bring about global peace between the feuding tribes of the underworld. The ONE thing that brought them together, nurtured the humanity, SAVED THE FRAKKING WORLD!!! Dude. EVERYBODY LIVES PEACEFULLY EVER AFTER. Peacefully ever after. PAX ROMANA!!! (Shit, now I wanna watch Rome...) Not that cop out piece of crap ending in Breaking Dawn. Seriously. Jo, have you met Steph? Steph, Jo.
I've been living in lalala land since Bella was turned. *sigh* This. THIS right HERE is why I should never, NEVAR invest in fandom... I need brain bleach. Anyone? Anyone?
So I tried to find my happy place and found Gillian being Gillian.
On Jimmy Kimmel:
Gillian and David on Richard & Judy: